Islana's Story
Klea sat by the fire and stared out the window. A light snow was falling; she'd never seen such a thing until a few days ago and found it fascinating to watch. It wasn't like the rain that plagued Arpiar during the spring; it was lighter and calmer and the snowflakes seemed to dance through the wind.
Jall sat at a table in the center of the room, deep in discussion with Erra Kelanister. This was, she presumed, some sort of important council, but they spoke in the language of Kalatsu and the words meant nothing to her.
Freedom had been heady and exhilarating but hard to separate from her nervousness at the world of Kalatsu, so alien that it frightened her. But that didn't matter when Jall was in the room. She knew, somehow, that he would never harm her nor allow anyone else to harm her. She felt safe only when in the same room as her uncle; which was why, though she was certain this was a private meeting, she was allowed to sit in. Not that she could understand it, anyway.
There was a hesitant knock on the door and Erra stopped what he was saying mid-sentence. (Erra had greeted her kindly, and had offered her a place in his household. She found his demeanor a little frightening, but he had been quite kind.) Erra called out, apparently to whoever had knocked. The door opened and a tall man, younger than Klea though clearly well past adolescence, stepped in.
He looked worried, she recognized immediately. Her talent for reading people's emotions through facial expressions and body language was one thing that did translate easily. He spoke quickly and quietly, and Erra and Jall reacted poorly. Jall's face was impassive, but he tensed and turned to Erra; Erra's face was grim and angry. He clenched the edge of the table tightly, making a fist around it.
Finally, Erra nodded and answered. He and the intruder held a very brief conversation and, bowing deeply, the intruder let himself out again. Erra turned to speak to Jall, who nodded and answered, and Klea could tell from his tone of voice he was doing his best to calm Erra down.
Erra said something imperiously, and there was a long pause. Finally, Jall nodded, understanding or resigned but not pleased. He turned to face Klea, who watched nervously.
"There has been an emergency," he said quietly, in her language. "I have to go away on business."
"Go where?"
He took a deep breath. "Arpiar. I have to carry an important message. Important enough that His Majesty can't entrust it to anyone else."
"Will you be safe?"
"I'll be as safe as I can." He gave her a serious look. "You should stay here, Klea. His Majesty will take care of you."
She wanted to argue, but her ability to do so had been lost years ago. So instead, she just nodded, and wondered what could possibly be so important that Jall, who she understood to carry the brand of a man marked for execution, could be swayed to return to Arpiar. She wondered what kind of emergency could be that important.
[OPENING CREDITS]
Episode 26: Under the Moonlight
Dinner at the Aleann Manor was an awkward affair and, as always, Kalin knew his presence was to blame. Only Taylin and Tiernan seemed able to speak normally; everyone else spoke only in hushed tones, nervously, or not at all. There was no true conversation, only muted glares at Kalin and requests for dishes to be passed.
Serissa Alayrin, at least, said nothing one way or the other. She was polite, as politics required her to be, but said nothing unnecessary. Nothing conversational, and certainly nothing personal.
Kalin thanked her for her hospitality, and she kindly promised to provide for him and all others involved in the effort to create peace. That was as far as conversation went.
As the meal ended, Serissa suggested they all retire to bed early, postponing all discussions until the next morning when they'd be more rested. Kalin nodded his agreement, but couldn't help but wonder why she'd suggest it, unless she was avoiding him or at least trying to postpone talking to him.
Second guessing himself and her motives was enough to aggravate his already jumpy nerves. Shut up in his room, he sat down to think but could only stare at the painting and see his features reflected in it.
It felt like hours had passed, and he was preparing to sleep when there was a hesitant knock on the door. He opened it and saw a tall blond woman standing next to Tiernan. He recognized her from the meal; he was fairly certain she'd arrived with Serissa's caravan, though he couldn't recall being introduced to her.
She curtsied politely, though it looked almost awkward on her—she clearly did not show respects very often. Kalin bowed back, not sure of her station but afraid of offending a potential ally.
"Sir Voice, might I have a word?" she asked finally.
He nodded and stepped aside, gesturing into the decadent room; she stepped in, followed by Tiernan. She turned around to stare down Tiernan.
"A word alone, Sir Voice?" she added, still staring at Tiernan.
"I stand as the Voice's bodyguard, Lady Alayrin. I'm afraid I can't stand aside."
She smiled politely, but was clearly displeased. "Lord Sanasset, you've known me since you were old enough to walk; surely you trust me."
"I'm afraid I trust no one, my Lady."
She glared for just a second, then turned to Kalin. "My name is Lady Lisandra Alayrin, Sir Voice. Kieris Alayrin was my older brother." She gave a significant look at the portrait on the wall. "I was here, in this keep, when he was first betrothed to Lady Alayrin."
Kalin nodded, understanding, nervous. He had only the vaguest memories of Kieris' family, but knew he'd had only sisters and no brothers. "I see." He turned his gaze to Tiernan. "Tiernan, I'd like to have a moment to speak to Lady Alayrin in private. I trust her."
"Sir Voice. Kalin," Tiernan shook his head, "I'm responsible for your safety."
"I know. And Lady Alayrin will do me no harm. Please."
Tiernan hesitated. "I will be right outside, with my sword drawn. If I hear so much as a raised voice..."
"Thank you," Kalin interrupted, and ushered him out, then turned to Lisandra. "Do I want to know what brings you here, Lady?"
"I remember you," she said slowly. "I do. You and Serissa, you were involved."
"I don't know what you mean."
"I remember you," she said. "And when you died it was hardly a secret that you and she... There was something between you."
Kalin raised an eyebrow. "You're wrong, Lady. I'm hardly dead. Obviously."
"You fell off a cliff."
"I jumped off a cliff." He nodded a little. "It's quite a difference."
"Either way from that height, with the rocks on the shore, it makes no difference."
"It makes all the difference in the world."
She shook her head and took a breath. He could tell she was calming herself as best she could. She looked like she'd seen a ghost. "But you and her Ladyship. You two."
"You need to understand, my Lady, I have the deepest respect for her Ladyship. I would never do or say anything to embarrass her."
"Or alienate her."
"Or alienate her," he agreed.
"Then I suppose you'd like to know that she sent me this evening."
Kalin didn't like the way the balance of power in the room shifted at that statement, but he was an expert at staying calm, and calming others, so he merely smiled quietly. "Then I hope when you next speak with her, you'll send her my best wishes for this truce and her cooperation."
"Or perhaps you could speak to her yourself," Lisandra suggested. "She'd very much like to see you."
Kalin nodded. "Where and when, Lady?"
"In an hour, Sir Voice. Outside, at the bridge by the gardens, if you recall where it is." He nodded, so she continued. "And if you can, make it in strict secrecy. I have her confidence—I would never embarrass her either."
"I will do what I can," he answered.
"Your bodyguard won't be pleased."
"I will do what I can," he repeated. "If I would be followed, I'd never so much as look her way."
Lisandra nodded. "In an hour, then. At the bridge." She started for the door, then hesitated. "I hope you plan to explain how you're alive, Sir Voice."
"Perhaps. Eventually."
She nodded and opened the door; Tiernan stood outside, sword drawn, and raised an eyebrow. "See, my Lord? No harm done. Good evening." She let herself out and down the hall, back to her own chambers.
Or perhaps, Kalin mused, to Serissa's.
"Is everything all right, Sir Voice?" Tiernan asked, his voice light but with suspicion not far beneath the surface.
"Everything is fine, Tiernan. Lady Alayrin asked... Well, she asked the other Lady Alayrin to make sure I was comfortable, that I had everything I needed."
"And?"
"I do," Kalin answered. "It was kind of Her Ladyship to be so concerned."
"It was." Tiernan sheathed his sword. "All due respect, Kalin, please don't ignore me when I try and protect you. His Holiness entrusted your safety to me; if nothing else, I will not let anything embarrass him."
"I know. I understand." Kalin shrugged. "But you should understand, Tiernan, I have... a way with people. A way to read them, to know who is trustworthy and who is not. And I promise to never put myself in a situation where I feel any danger."
"And I promised," Tiernan said slowly, "not to let you."
Tiernan had every plan to spend the night in a chair outside Kalin's door. It was not the most comfortable position in which to sleep, but it was effective. There was no way into the room except around him; he'd wake if any visitors showed up—particularly considering the arrangement meant his sleep was uncomfortable and light at best.
It also, as it turned out, meant he'd wake if anyone tried to leave Kalin's room. The door opened inward and he immediately sat up straight, hand going to his hilt, until he saw it was just Kalin, holding an empty water glass in his only hand. "Calm yourself, Tiernan; go to bed, Goddess' sake. I'm safe here."
"You're safe nowhere, Sir Voice. I'm sleeping fine." But he yawned as he said it.
Kalin sighed. "I'm just going to help myself to a glass of water; I'll be back in five minutes."
"I'll go with you." Tiernan stood.
"Really, there's no need."
"I can show you the way to the kitchen; I practically grew up here."
"I know where the kitchen is. I also spent... far longer here than I would have liked." He stared at Tiernan until he flinched under his gaze, understanding. Kalin had been a slave. Elthis Aleann had cut off his hand. Of course he'd been at the Aleann Manor before.
But duty was duty. "I'll accompany you, then."
"Please, Tiernan; just rest for a few minutes. You'll do me no good tomorrow if you can't keep your eyes open. No one will attack me—how could they know I'd be out of my room?" He smiled. "Besides, I'll be quick and quiet."
"Sir Voice, I just don't think..." But he yawned, and Kalin raised an eyebrow.
"Rest, Tiernan. I'll shake you awake when I get back. It's only for a few minutes."
Tiernan finally nodded, and sat down; Kalin started off down the corridor. Tiernan watched him go. A slight suspicion come back but he tried to shut his eyes. Kalin was right, and he was paranoid.
But he did have a duty. Something just felt wrong. The visit from Lisandra, her insistence on privacy, and now Kalin going off on his own; it just felt wrong. Sleep be damned. Tiernan rose silently from his post and started down the hall after Kalin.
[eyecatch]
Kalin stopped in the kitchen to get his bearings. It had been years since he'd last walked the halls of this manor alone. He knew most of the way but things had changed too. He was actually somewhat comforted by how unreliable his memory was turning out to be. The manor had been seared into his mind and it recurred in his nightmares for more than three decades; seeing reality diverge from those dreams was a relief.
He deposited the cup in the sink and headed towards the exit, at least certain that he had the basic direction right. He made a wrong turn but realized it as the hall started to double back and corrected himself. Shortly after, he was outside. Passing from the main manor house and yard into the rest of the land was odd. The quiet was interrupted only by insects and owls but their noises made him jump halfway out of his skin. He couldn't help but be on guard, wondering if maybe something had gone wrong, and Tiernan was right. Maybe it wasn't safe.
But safety be damned. It had been over thirty-five years since he'd last spoken to Serissa, and seeing her so close, now, was painful and would only hurt more until he could talk to her.
He stayed on the dirt path he was following, saw the river and the bridge up ahead, and there, on the little wooden footbridge, was Lady Serissa Alayrin herself. She looked up abruptly and saw him, and he felt himself speed up, as close to running as he could come while remaining dignified.
Moonlight broke through the clouds overhead as he walked up to stand next to her, and saw her delicate fingers spread over the wooden railing of the bridge. Hesitantly, not speaking a word, he reached over with his good hand to place it over her own, to intertwine their fingers.
She squeezed his hand gently and looked over at him, and he could swear she looked teary-eyed.
"I thought you were dead," she said quietly. "The cliff, and you were gone. I thought you had died."
"I know," he answered. "I know, and I'm sorry. I didn't know what else to do, than let you think that. I wanted... I wanted to be with you so much, but it was impossible. I wanted you to be happy without me."
"I was," she said. "I'm sorry."
"Don't be."
"Kalin..." she breathed. "I loved you..."
"I love you," he answered, in the present tense.
They both leaned forward, slowly, hesitantly. This was like living out a dream; Kalin had yearned for it every night they'd been apart. Her eyes, her skin, her lips...
He pulled away abruptly, when her lips had barely brushed his. "No," he said quickly. "No, I... Serissa... I have to tell you about your father, the Massacre, I need you to know..."
"No," she interrupted him. "No, not tonight."
"But the blood on my hands, Riss. If you knew everything I know."
"I don't know. I don't want to." She swallowed. "Not tonight, anyway. Tomorrow, maybe, at the negotiations. But for tonight... I only want you, tonight. You're all I've ever wanted."
"But..."
"Please, Kalin. Tomorrow we can make our confessions and fight, and everything will be different; but tonight I want to be sixteen again."
Finally, he nodded. "As my Lady commands," he murmured, and leaned in to kiss her.
And it was like the years had never happened, and they were teenagers again. It was all there—the passion, the fear of being found out, but most of all, the almost physical need for each other. His kisses were gentle but insistent; hers were more urgent. Their arms wrapped around each other until not even air could fit between them, they were so close, and never once did their eyes stray from each other's. They were young again, and in love again, and it was like the thirty-five intervening years had never happened.
It was, for that moment, perfect.
And then there were footsteps, a sharp intake of breath, and a swear word. "How... How did this happen?"
Kalin jerked back immediately, guiltily; Serissa did nothing with guilt and everything with grace. Her hand never left Kalin's for a moment as she turned to face the intruder, her sharp features for once gentle and calm. "Good evening, Tiernan," she said politely.
"Ladyship, I..." he stopped abruptly, shaking his head. "How... What is going on?"
Serissa looked over at Kalin, who shrugged slightly, then said, quietly: "Exactly what it looked like, Tiernan. So now you know."
"How..." he shook his head. "But, when did this happen? I don't understand."
"Kalin and I have known each other for many years," Serissa said calmly. "We have loved each other for quite some time."
"But," Tiernan said, seeming to finally catch his breath and get over the shock. "But Erolis Dalasan—he was disowned for less. Disinherited. If that was a crime, then surely this..."
"There's nothing criminal about love," Kalin answered.
"There is, when it's her and it's you and that makes her... a... traitor. Oh, Sundancer, what..."
"Tiernan, I am not a traitor. I never have been. Never once in the past thirty years have the two of us seen each other or communicated. Until this morning, I believed he was dead. I have never once betrayed a single secret to the Knights; I wouldn't know who to contact even had I wanted to. And they've never once tried to contact me."
Kalin shifted guiltily and said nothing.
"But you've always been a... Sympathizer," Tiernan said quietly. "I don't know how this happened between you, but I'm sure you're guilty of something. And I... it's my duty... I'll have to report it. I'm sorry, but I must."
"You will do nothing," Kalin said flatly. "You were not supposed to know; no one is."
"But I do know. And I would be guilty if I didn't tell His Holiness."
Serissa and Kalin exchanged glances, and finally, Kalin said, "Before you do anything, perhaps you should discuss this with your uncle. I'd hate to see his name dragged through the mud."
"What?"
"Tiernan," Kalin sighed. "I was a slave; she was a Lady. We loved each other. Why do you think Elthis Aleann cut off my hand?"
"Lord Aleann would have killed you."
"He would have, unless someone else was protecting me. Someone who knew and who stepped in on my behalf. Who saved my life, who all but helped me to escape when it came to it. Who do you think has that kind of authority?"
"But my uncle... you'd blackmail an old man and a good family over this?"
"I would blackmail the Goddess herself over this," Kalin answered. "And if you don't believe me, ask Taylin. He would do the same, for the same reasons. Not for his own sake; he's never worried much about that. And not for mine and, given my presence here is hardly wanted, I don't give a damn what your Lords and your Church think of me. But I love Serissa. For over thirty years, I've been trying to end a war, just to see her again. And now that I have her here, and now that peace is so close at hand, I will do anything to make sure it succeeds. I will not lose her again."
Serissa gave him a sideways look, bemused. "For me, Kalin? Really?"
"Everything is for you. It always has been."
She squeezed his hand again, and they both stared at Tiernan.
"If you feel you must report this," Serissa said finally, "then do so. But I promise, Tiernan Sanasset, if you harm this peace, I will see you dead. And that is not an idle threat."
Tiernan swallowed hard.
"Take the rest of the night to think about it," Kalin said. "Perhaps some sleep will make your decision easier."
Tiernan nodded and wordlessly started back towards the manor house. Kalin and Serissa turned back to each other.
"Lisandra promised you wouldn't come if you were followed."
"I didn't know I was being followed."
"If he speaks out, then everything..." She trailed off.
"He won't," Kalin answered. "Tiernan is a good man. He won't."
"I just hope you're right."
"I am," Kalin said fiercely. "The Goddess didn't give you back to me only to take you away again. I won't let him speak."
He looked up at Serissa, into her eyes. And she nodded. And, after so many years, they still didn't have to say a word.
Ilyan hovered in the room, invisible, listening. Jall and the Healer, a boy named Ryn and just out of training, had sat Islana down and were speaking in hushed tones. She tried her best to look as though she felt nothing. Her face was stony but Ilyan knew the truth.
"You're sure it's not a mistake?" Islana asked, placing one hand on her abdomen.
"Positive, Princess," Ryn answered. "You, ah, you did miss your time last month."
"I was told that was a result of... everything that had happened."
"We thought it was, it could have been. But you finally started to look healthier, to eat again, and when I last met with you I sensed something different. And now, meeting with you again, I'm positive. You're with child."
Islana shook her head. "That's impossible."
"No, Princess, it's not. You... I realize it wasn't by choice and so you maybe wish it wasn't true, but you have had... You know." He shifted uncomfortably, and Ilyan noted that he was still a very young Healer. He hadn't yet learned how to speak about sensitive topics.
"Oh," Islana said. She turned to look at Jall. "But..."
Jall shrugged. "Thank you, Ryn; I'll call for you, if I need you."
"Yes sir, Sir Blade." The Healer let himself out, and Jall sat down next to Islana.
"It's going to be all right," he promised.
"I don't want... I don't want his child. Any of theirs. I don't even know... Jall, please... What am I supposed to do? When Erra finds out..."
"Erra knows," Jall said gently.
"But what..." She shook her head. "I don't know. I... I didn't mean for this to happen."
"I know." He placed a hand on her shoulder. "I realize. But it has happened." He sighed slightly. "We're sending word to Dysis and Cleran."
"No!"
"Islana—"
"No, you can't. He... Cleran..."
"It is more than likely that the child is his; keeping the knowledge from him would hardly be fair."
She shook her head mutely.
"You and he will have to see each other, to talk. You have... choices to make."
"Jall..."
"Islana, it is possible to lose a child. The Healers can help. But you need to discuss it with Cleran first. Then... the choice will be yours."
She shook her head, still not believing. "I don't want to see him."
"I'm sorry."
Ilyan watched Islana watch Jall go, and he watched her turn to gaze blankly out the window. It wasn't the first time he longed to be alive and whole, to comfort his daughter, but it was one of the worst. He'd missed so much of her life, and now all he could do was watch in silence.
She couldn't know he was there. The Goddess had decreed this when he'd been sent back as an Angel. Others could know, but in order for his sacrifice to be real, Islana could never know what he'd done for her.
So Ilyan watched silently, at that moment hating the Necessity of which he was a part.
[CLOSING CREDITS]