Long ago, in a Kingdom no one can remember (or maybe never existed,) everyone was happy. The King and Queen were happy raising their four children, George Jr, the twins, Georgia and Georgina, and their littlest, Georgi. Their good friends, Sir Paul the bored bard and Lady Polly were also prepairing for their own little bundle of joy. But alas, things were not quite as happy for the shmarmy couple as for the royal couple and company. You see, Polly was turning into one of the scariest people ever : JOHN.
(It should be noted that this is not the John from A GROOVY STORY THAT HAS NO TITLE, but the one who played the dumbstupid saxophone in THE FESTIVAL OF PHOEBUS. This John is a smarmy {NOT SHMARMY!} musician-athelete-genius-dorkhead who is a) annoying, and b) a distant cousin of George. Everyone evil or fairly evil is related to George, don't ask why.)
"PAUL!" Polly's shrill shriek echoed through the whole castle, and brought her husband running.
"Yes, my flower, my sweet, my love, my -- AAHHH!" screamed the bard. Paul stared at his wife in horror. "P-P-Polly?" he stuttered. "What h-happened to your h-hair?!"
"I don't know!" she cried, flipping the mirror backwards so she couldn't see her
reflection. The sad truth was that her hair had once been a poofy red-brown and topped by a beret. Now it was blond, a boy's cut, and NO BERET topped it. Polly sobbed. I hope you realize that this will only get sillier -- and longer.
"This is impossible! Just plain bad! Wrong! Not to mention disgusting!" Paul shrieked. "My WIFE is a MAN!"
"Huh," said a sour voice near the floor. "At least she's not a male frog. Count your blessings." Paul looked down to see a small-but-vicious frog wearing a pointy hat at a cocky angle.
"Cat the frog?" asked Paul. "You're a very bad person."
"I know." smirked the frog. Have you ever seen a frog smirk? It's a weird sight. Years ago, Cat hadn't been a frog. No, she hadn't been a cat, either. She'd been a magician -- a very confused one. That explained her current state of frogliness. For sheer lack of anything better to do, she'd kidnapped Paul, right before his wedding, making him very late (and very clean.) not to mention insane, but he'd already been insane. He'd married Polly, didn't he? But that was long ago, and he never was quite sure why Cat had decided to pick on him.
"WELL TURN HER BACK!" screamed Paul. "NOW!"
"I don't think so," smarmed Cat. She licked her lips and wiggled her toes. Paul's hair morphed into a bright blue mohawk. He screamed.
"Why you idiot frog you-"
A nose ring appeared.
"Stop! Help! Murder! Arson! Badness!-"
Now he had many body piercings, the mohawk, and all tight leather clothes. "EVIL! BAD! Are you related to George, by any chance?"
"Shut up! My nephew's a moron," Cat snapped.
"Nephew?!" Paul laughed. "You ARE related!"
Cat glared a him. A small butterfly occupied the space where punk-Paul had been. "I wonder," Cat mused. "if frogs eat butterflies..."
Itsy and Jack were sick of playing soccer one-on-one. Since Jessie left and Polly had never wanted to play anyway, they were the only one's left to play. But not today.
The John/Polly mix dashed out onto the field, stole the ball from Jack, and scored. "Free chickee wingzzzz!" s/he yelled.
Then something scary(er) happened; Polly began to run. "NOOOO!" screamed the Polly half of Polly/John. Itsy and Jack just stared.
Everyone stared at Polly's math test score; 100%. She shrugged.
"I'm not going to band," Itsy muttered. "Polly was bad enough, but this Polly/John thing is too bad. I'm terrified."
"Me too," Jack agreed, and the two of them bolted for the door.
"Have you seen Paul?" asked George, "I have the sudden urge to arrest someone."
"Not in a few days." said Jack, then added, "SPAMarchy!"
George sighed. A small butterfly flapped it's wings frantically. A frog cackled maniacally.
Then another frog appeared, or more precisely a frag. (whatever that means) Kermit-the-HOO!!-really-cool-frag (KTH!!RCF for short,) glanced at the butterfly.
"Ribbit," he said seriously. In the distance, a dragon named Joel roared.
KTH!!RCF lectured Cat sternly. The magician sighed. "Alright, I'll turn her back!" she agreed, licking her lips and wiggling her toes. "You don't have to feed me to Joel."
Polly's beret reappeared on top of her fluffy reddish hair. "Eight times eight is fourty-eight!" she said cheerfully. "Woo-hoo!"
"Ribbit!" snapped KTH!!RCF.
Cat muttered something under her breath. "Fine, him too!" she said, licking her lips and stomping her feet.
Unfortunatly, Paul-the-butterfly was winging his way across the moat. Suddenly, he was turned back into himself. Luckily for the bored bard, the moat monster wasn't hungry.
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