A long, long time ago, it was a warm afternoon it late August in the Kingdom of the Sun, an interesting, colourful, magical, surprising, artistic, musical, beautiful, and wonderful place that never existed. Outside, the sun was shinning down out of the clouds surrounding one very special cumulus cloud where the magnificent castle rested peacefully. Polly was also resting peacefully on this cumulus cloud, doodling something in a notebook, until Jack-the-SPAM-knight, Jessie-the-depressed-jester, and Queen Itsy ran outside, kicking around a soccer ball.
"Hey, Polly!" Itsy shouted to her, even though she was standing right there. "Ya wanna play? We've only got three -- it's uneven. And just because you're not playing this season doesn't mean you can't play a little two-on-two with us."
"Oh, but I'm wearing sandals," Polly said smugly, lifting up her long tie-dyed dress just enough to show them her small, sandaled feet. "I can't play in these."
"Change into some other shoes. We'll wait." Jack offered.
"But I don't wanna!" Polly whined, making a pouty face, which she only did if she was really desperate to get her own way.
"Well, you could be goalie." Jessie said, "You like doing that anyway."
Polly saw that there was no way to get out unless she gave up.
"Alright!" Polly complained, "But don't expect much. It's hot out -- I hate hot weather!"
Itsy rolled her eyes due to Polly's last complaint, which she'd heard one too many times over the summer. "Let's pick teams then -- I get Jack!" she shouted. "Your turn Polly."
"Tough decision," she muttered. "Hmm... I pick... Jessie."
"I'm always last to be picked." Jessie moped. "No one likes me..."
Jack took the ball and kicked it into a goal. "One for me and Itsy!"
"Hey!" Polly shouted, "I'm not ready!"
Itsy took the ball and kicked it into the goal again. "Two-zero! Itsy and Jack in the lead!"
"Cut it out!" Polly shouted, stealing the ball from Itsy and kicking it into the opposite goal. "Ha! Two-ONE!"
She then waltzed over to her goal to become Polly-the-Goalie, who was actually one of the worst goalies in the history of goaling.
Jessie took the ball and ran towards the goal, but was slide-tackled by Jack, and Itsy took the ball. She ran towards Polly, who looked very frightened and began screaming.
Itsy took her time setting up the perfect shot, and just as she went to kick the ball in, Polly ducked in front, grabbing onto the soccer ball. But Itsy's foot was good and ready to kick, and accidentally kicked Polly in the head, missing the ball completely.
"Ono! Polly!" she shrieked, realizing what she'd just done. Polly didn't move a muscle.
"What happened?" Jessie asked, "You kill her again?"
Jack ran over and gasped, looking at the even MORE lifeless Polly. "Good heavens!"
They dragged a presumably dead (again) Polly into the castle and set her down on her bed. "What are you all gonna tell Paul when he gets back from the marketplace?" George asked after he followed them up the stairs.
"You mean he's not here?" Itsy asked, relieved that they might have time for her to wake up before Paul found out.
"Yeah," the King replied. "He accidentally stepped on his comb, and went off to buy a new one."
"Ya know, if Polly doesn't wake up before he gets here, he's gonna throw a fit," Jack commented.
"Maybe we could tell him she's sleeping," Itsy suggested.
"But Paul would probably try to wake her up," said George. "And she could stay like that for days."
"You're right, that might work for me, but not Polly." Itsy agreed. "We could always tell him the truth. It's not like she hasn't already died or anything." They heard footsteps and someone humming from the hallway.
"Aww man, it's him!" whispered Jack, looking around to find somewhere to stash the body, though none was to be found. "Wuttu we gonna say?"
"Polly, dear! I'm back! Hope you didn't miss me as much as I-" he cut off midsentance when he walked into the room to find Itsy, George, Jack, and Jessie all crowded around Polly, who was lying on the bed. "Good heavens!" he screamed, "What happened? Did she die AGAIN?!" He ran over to the bed and held her close. "I can't believe this! Oh, Polly, my love! Why do you do this to me?!" He paused and listened. "Her heart's still beating... she didn't die again! How long has she been like this?"
"About an hour," Jessie answered. "I just want you to know Itsy kicked her in the head, I think she's in a coma,"
"Who? Itsy?" Paul asked, seeing Itsy sleeping in a chair.
"No," Jessie said, "Polly."
"Why would you say that, Jessie?" Jack asked.
"Well, maybe because the story's called 'Polly's Coma.' Duhh!"
So Polly, as Jessie said, was, in fact, in a coma. Yes, our dear heroine, who had already survived death, (oxymoron? Naa!) was now stuck, helpless in a coma. Four days passed with no apparent change in Polly, but much change in Paul, who'd become too depressed to do anything but to stare at Polly hopefully. Finally, Jessie got so sick of Paul being more depressed than her, that she decided to have a talk with him.
"Paul?" Jessie asked, "I was just wondering, and I want to know if you've thought of this, but..." she paused for dramatic effect, but she wasn't shatnering or anything, "if you just killed Polly, she'd be back in at least a few hours...did you think of that?"
"Jessie! I can't just murder her!" he screamed.
"Can I?" Jessie asked, grinning deviously.
"No!" Paul hollered.
"But please!" she begged. "I wouldn't do it if I had even the slightist doubt in my very big, very, very smart, very big brain that she wouldn't come right back. Please, I can't take it anymore! I can't stand you being more depressed than me! Iv I'm not the most depressed, I'm nothing... no, less than nothing!"
"How can something be less than nothing? Nothing is nothing! If there were something that could be less than it, then nothing would have to be something, and nothing is supposed to be the least anything can be! Maybe if there is REALLY less than nothing, we should make up a new word so that nothing would really be something, and the real nothing would be something like...jessiersomethin, huh? What do you think?"
"I think you're in Polly-withdrawl and are starting to sound like her," Jessie said. "Now can I kill her or not? I can do it with that pillow, nice and clean. She won't feel a thing, promise!"
"No! I'm not going to let you!" he shouted, "Get out, now! Leave her alone!"
"Fine, but you don't have to be like that... I know when I'm not wanted, I'm very used to not being wanted because nobody ever wants me around..." the depressed jester droned as she walked away.
Paul let out a sigh. "Oh, why can't I be in that coma? Why does everything happen to my dear Polly? Why can't they take me instead?" he questioned. Then he looked over to the bed where Polly was lying, but she was sitting up, rubbing her head, and looking extremely confused.
"Polly!" Paul exclaimed with joy. "You're up! Finally! Oh, I was so worried about you, my love!" He put his arms around her and hugged her close.
"Who're you?" Polly asked, sounding very tired and confused. "Where am I?"
"Polly? Are you okay?" he asked, letting go a bit. "Don't you remember me? Paul?"
"Paul? Paul who?" she asked, looking surprised. "Is this some sort of sick joke?"
Regular Polygon Formulas
Each int. angle = (N-2)180/N
Sum ext. angles = 360
Each ext. angle = 360/N
QUADRILATERALS: Definition - 4 sides / Thm - Sum of angles = 360
Sum int. angles = (N-2)180
PARALLELOGRAMS: Definition - Quad. with opp. sides parallel / Thm - opp. sides =, opp. angles =, diagonals bisect, sum of adj. angles = 180 / A=bh
RECTANGLES: Definition - Parallelogram with 90 degree angles / Thm - Diagonals =, right triangle (pythag, trig, special triangles)
RHOMBUS: Definition - Parallelogram with equal sides / Thm - diags. bisect angles, diags. perpendicular / A=bh or A=1/2d1d2
SQUARE: Definition - Rhombus with 90 degree angles, rectangle with equal sides
TRAPEZOID: Definition - Quadrilateral with only two parallel sides / A=1/2h(b1+b2)
ISOS. TRAPEZOID: Thm - Diags. equal, base angles equal
"Polly-" he started.
"And why do you keep referring to me as Polly?"
"Umm, because that's your name, silly." Paul laughed, "Okay, now stop trying to trick me into thinking you don't know who I am."
"But I don't,"
"Cut it out, I know you more than well enough to know that you'd do something like that if you had the chance," he said, trying to kiss her.
"Aaaah! What are you doing?!" Polly screamed and hit Paul in the stomach.
"Oooh!" Paul groaned, "I take it you're not kidding!"
"What's going on?" Jessie asked, curiously walking back into the room and seeing Polly awake. "Oh, hi Polly. Guess I don't get to kill you now..." she said becoming more depressed.
"Who're you?" Polly asked, "Why are you wearing that weird outfit, and why, for cryin' out loud, are you wearing those sunglasses indoors?"
Jessie looked hurt. "I wouldn't expect you to remember me, but I know you LIKE this outfit -- you designed it, and you yourself wear sunglasses indoors."
"Well, she doesn't remember me either," Paul pointed out, rubbing his stomach. "Polly wouldn't hurt me, especially for no good reason."
"I would," Jessie commented.
"And I'd hurt you." he added, "But we can beat each other up later, now we have to help Polly remember us."
Jack, Itsy, and George walked in, hearing what was going on. "Polly! You're back!" Jack exclaimed. "What's the matter, dislocate another rib?"
"What?!" Polly asked, "Why does everyone insist on calling me Polly?"
"What would you like us to call you?" Jack asked.
"I don't know." Polly answered, looking baffled. "Polly's fine, I suppose..."
"Now that we've established that," George said. "Can't you remember anything?"
"No... I don't think so anyway -- but I can't tell." Polly answered, holding her head in her hands. "It's all so weird!"
"I've been saying that for ages..." Jessie muttered to herself, then whispered to Paul, "Can I still kill her? She'll get her memory back."
"NO!" he hollered back, "What's wrong with you?!" Jessie muttered to herself again and left. "Come on, Polly. Let's get your memory back," Paul said, leading her out.
"Quoi?" Polly asked, confused.
Thoughout the remainder of the day, Paul showed Polly around the castle, trying, in vain, to help her get her memory back.
"You're very nice... and very cute... but I just don't remember you," Polly admitted to her husband. "I wish I did, though."
"I wish you did too," Paul said somewhat shmarmily as he reached out his hand for hers. Polly backed away.
"What's your problem?!" Polly shouted, unsure about the situation.
"Geez!" Paul shouted back, "I just wanna hold your hand! Since when did you turn into Jane?!"
"Jane who?!" Polly asked in a holler.
"Nevermind!" he screamed, "You wouldn't remember -- I don't think you even WANT to remember! That's it! I GIVE UP!" Then he stormed away, leaving her lost and alone.
Polly shrugged.
She soon found Jessie, who was sitting up-side-down in a chair, swinging her feet in the air. Polly gave her a worried look, and asked, "Are you a bat or something?"
The depressed jester smiled, but she was up-side-down so it looked like her usual frown. "Well, I AM a vampire," she said proudly.
"Thing just get stranger and stranger around here." Polly commented. "No one around here seems normal at all."
"Well, duhh!" Jessie remarked, more to herself.
"And what's with that overly cute guy who keeps coming on to me? And that SPAM-junkie? And how did that short, loud freak become Queen?!" Polly asked confused, exhausted, and frustrated.
At that moment, Jessie lost her balance on the chair and toppled onto the floor. When she fell, she finally realized something that she hit herself for not thinking of it sooner. She remembered that whenever someone has amnesia, they just need another good blow to the head. She decided to take action, but she needed a distraction.
"Hey, Polly!" she shouted, "Look! Here comes the sun!" She pointed to the opposite direction, and picked up the chair while Polly turned to look.
"Huh, what?" Polly asked, and there was a loud clunk, and another clunk when she hit the floor. But Jessie hadn't even swung.
There was a chuckle from behind a nearby statue, and Itsy appeared holding a frying pan and smirking.
"HEY!" Jessie screamed. "YOU STOLE MY BIG MOMENT!"
"Yeah, well I haven't done anything cool in any of these stories, and they are MY CHARACTERS! I should be the one to hit Polly on the head!" the Queen argued.
"But you hit her on the head in the first place!" Jessie argued back. "It's MY turn!"
"You had more lines!" Itsy screamed.
"So?!" the vampire snapped, "That's because I-"
"What's going on?!" Paul asked, seeing Polly unconscious on the floor. "Who did this?" Itsy pointed at Jessie, Jessie pointed an accusing finger at herself, then at Itsy. "JESSIE!" Paul decided and marched over to her. Then he took her by the hand and whirled her around. "Thank you!" he exclaimed, and hugged her.
"You're welcome?" she guessed.
"But I was the one who did it!" Itsy demanded.
"Really?" Paul asked. "Not Jessie?"
"No, it was me!" the depressed jester said, trying to take credit.
"IT WAS NOT!" Itsy screamed, reaching out to strangle her.
"Whoa!" said Paul, breaking them up. "Look, it doesn't matter who did it -- as long as it's done, and that's that."
"BUT I DID IT!" shouted both Itsy and Jessie.
"What, might I ask, is going on?" asked Polly, rubbing her head. "Why am I lying on the floor? Who are all of you weird people?"
Paul ran over to her. "Polly? Polly, it's me -- Paul." he said, hoping she'd remember him. "Are you alright, my dear?"
"I feel like crap!" Polly groaned, and squinted at him, trying to get a better look. "Who're you?"
"Itsy," Paul said, holding out his left hand. "The frying pan, si'l vous plait." Itsy handed him the frying pan, and he whacked her on the head with it again. This caused her to fall over once more.
She woke up a moment later, rubbing her head again. "Where am I?" she asked.
"Polly?" Paul asked. "You back?"
"Polly?" she asked, disorientated, "Polly who?" Paul bashed her on the head again.
"Paul!" shouted Itsy. "You're gonna give her brain damage!"
"Not much TO damage." Jessie remarked. Polly woke up again, still rubbing her head.
"Wowee! Zappo! What happened? Where'm I?" she asked, squinting.
"Polly, c'est moi, Paul." he stated. "R...U...O...K...? Do you know who I am?"
"Who're you?" she asked. Paul raised the frying pan again, and Itsy and Jessie giggled.
"This is the last time..." Paul thought, bringing down the pan.
"PAUL!" screamed Polly, blocking the pan. "I was just kidding!" Paul looked at her, relieved and overjoyed. He threw the frying pan over his shoulder and kissed her. The pan hit Itsy, who then fell over. Jessie laughed.
"Paul," Polly started. "I have a headache."
